We often ask ourselves why things happen the way they do. We beat ourselves up for many things in our lives, things that have happened to us, missed opportunities, or past mistakes. We daydream, wondering what could have been if only things were different or if we were different.
In this blog post, I want to share how I went from despair to achieving what I once thought impossible: to like and love myself exactly the way I am. I want to share how doing it allowed me to enjoy my life at its fullest, the life I was meant to live, but this wasn't always the case.
When I was first diagnosed with FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder), I felt like the world had come crashing down on me. Why did this happen to me? I felt hopeless and victimized. Playing the victim role kept me trapped in what I call "the river of misery" the more I focused on feeling sorry for myself, the more unhappy and helpless I was. I was drowning, getting deeper and deeper into misery, and I couldn't see a way out of it.
Then everything changed the day my life coach asked the most challenging of questions:
What if everything in your life was supposed to be exactly the way it is?
At first, I found the question extremely offensive.
How could she say that my diagnosis was some fate?
How could she say that my FASD was meant to be?
I could not stop thinking about her question, and I felt anger every time I thought about it, "how did she dare to ask that?", or course "It's easy for her to say it because she doesn't have FASD," and so on. But regardless of how upset I was, I couldn't stop thinking about her question. My coach had planted a seed in my brain, in my mind, which continued to grow until I started thinking more seriously about it.
What if there was some truth to it?
What if all were part of a bigger plan specifically designed for me?
What if my differences were there for a reason?
What if they were meant to help me achieve something greater in life? After all, I thought if everything in my life happened for a reason, it would include my FASD. That's how I started my journey of crossing the river of misery. It wasn't easy, It was slow and painful, but now that I'm on the other side, it's clear that my coach was right. Everything in my life, the good and the bad, has happened the way it was supposed to happen.
I have been through a lot, but I am grateful for every moment because I now understand that I would not be where I am today if things were different. I can proudly say that I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't change a thing because that made me the person I am today, and you know what? I love the person I have become.
Once I allowed myself to see past my FASD challenges, I began to embrace my differences. I realized that there was nothing wrong with being different. After all, if we were all the same, the world would be a very boring place, and I wish you would see it too.
I have found in my FASD a purpose in life, something many people don't get to see in their lifetime. My FASD has allowed me to change the world, make a difference, and touch other people's lives by sharing my story and experiences. Most importantly, to help others like me cross the river and make it to the other side.
If you feel stress, anxious, worried or depressed, reach out. I can help you get out of the river. You can book a time to have a chat with me below.